Prepare to begin peeing a little bit once you sneeze. This can be a widespread chorus many individuals begin listening to once they get pregnant or give delivery. The truth is, you have most likely heard your mom, grandmother, aunts, or mates snort off (or cringe at) a narrative about once they’ve “leaked.”

Even medical doctors say leaking a little bit pee now and again—from seemingly benign actions like laughing or leaping up and down—is completely regular. If this occurs to so many people, why are we nonetheless embarrassed after we discuss it? And extra importantly, why do not we appear to take it severely?

Urinary incontinence (or the shortcoming to utterly management your bladder) is a subject many people shrink back from—whether or not we have had a child or not. However behind medical communities telling us it is “regular” and “simply a part of life” are the ladies who handle (and even wrestle) with it in day-to-day life.


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A kind of ladies is Jennifer Souiade—a mother of three—who says urinary incontinence was an enormous a part of her postpartum expertise.

“Even after my daughter’s first birthday, I could not leap on the trampoline with out feeling like my uterus would fall out, whereas my pee truly did,” she says. “And that was after six months of pelvic ground remedy.”

Souiade’s issues with incontinence started after the delivery of her first baby, which she says was a traumatic expertise for her physique. “[My daughter] was born like ‘The Thinker’ statue, along with her hand on her chin, tearing my vaginal wall alongside the best way, sufficient to want inside stitches to restore me afterward,” she says.

Regardless of getting the usual postpartum care in France (the place she lived on the time), which included pelvic ground remedy, she nonetheless handled bladder leaks that affected her day by day life. “It was mentally and bodily difficult,” she says. “I would misplaced the mind-to-muscle connection [between my bladder and brain] and could not work out methods to flex my pelvic ground.” This can’t solely result in doubtlessly embarrassing leaking incidents, but in addition to different unintended effects of pelvic ground dysfunction, like ache throughout intercourse or peeing throughout train.

With the assistance of her well being care workforce, Souiade was capable of totally deal with her incontinence points and regain management of her pelvic ground muscular tissues, “however I nonetheless keep away from trampolines if I’ve a full bladder,” she says, simply in case.

Souiade is only one of many who take care of urinary incontinence each day—irrespective of their age. It is typically seen as an embarrassing or “taboo” subject, leaving a lot of us at midnight about what actually causes it and methods to regain management of our bladders and pelvic flooring. Girls might really feel hesitant to convey it as much as their medical doctors for worry of being gaslit or advised that it is “regular.”

Right here, we take a deep dive into why urinary incontinence remains to be so taboo and the way we are able to begin critical conversations about bladder leaks so we are able to finish the embarrassment (and related well being results) as soon as and for all.

How prevalent is urinary incontinence in ladies?

From the “oops” second after you sneeze, to that sudden “cannot maintain it anymore” urge to pee, urinary incontinence can occur for a lot of causes, and it is extremely widespread—affecting hundreds of thousands of ladies in any respect phases of life. It is not only a product of being pregnant; it may possibly occur to athletes like gymnasts and observe runners, those that have well being circumstances that have an effect on their pelvic ground (like diabetes or a number of sclerosis), individuals who’ve had hysterectomies, and extra.

About 54 % of ladies ages 20 and older will expertise bladder leakage sooner or later of their lives, per a June 2021 examine within the Journal of Urology. Different April 2022 analysis in Feminine Pelvic Drugs and Reconstructive Surgical procedure discovered that quantity may very well be even larger, with estimates reaching over 60 %.

Is urinary incontinence a standard a part of growing older?

Whereas it is true that our bladders can get weaker as we age, leakage will not be an inevitable a part of growing older. In different phrases, shedding full management of your bladder will not be at all times because of merely getting older. In accordance with Victoria Scott, MD, urogynecologist and co-author of A Lady’s Information to Her Pelvic Ground: What the F*@# Is Occurring Down There?, different causes of urinary incontinence will be:

  • Being pregnant
  • Childbirth
  • Menopause
  • Having obese
  • Prior pelvic surgical procedure
  • Drugs
  • Household historical past of incontinence

And as we talked about earlier than, even younger, energetic folks can get bladder leaks. Feminine athletes that take part in high-impact sports activities like working and gymnastics are thrice extra prone to expertise urinary incontinence than non-athletes, per a December 2020 evaluate in Sports activities Drugs. Tough landings after jumps can put stress on the pelvic ground. And it simply goes to indicate: You will be in “peak well being” and nonetheless take care of this difficulty.

“Urinary incontinence is not only an ‘previous woman’ difficulty,” says Heather Jeffcoat, DPT, a bodily therapist and proprietor of Femina Bodily Remedy. “Younger athletes have excessive charges of urinary incontinence, in addition to bowel (fecal) incontinence.”

Okay, if it is common, then why is it so taboo?

Generally, societal taboos round bodily features, worry of embarrassment, and the outdated notion that bladder leaks are only a “regular” a part of being a girl all contribute to stigma.

However here is the issue: Staying silent does not make the difficulty go away. The truth is, it may possibly make issues worse, based on Karyn Eilber, MD, urogynecologist and co-author with Dr. Scott. Girls would possibly keep away from social actions, miss out on issues they take pleasure in, and even isolate or have melancholy and nervousness—all as a result of they’re afraid of what would possibly occur in public with out provides like spare underwear, pads, or a change of garments.

This typically applies to different ladies’s well being considerations— like bleeding in public because of menstruation. Girls might really feel embarrassed or much less outfitted if it isn’t overtly talked about or perceived as an “embarrassing” difficulty.

The dearth of open dialog about ladies’s well being points typically additionally fuels misinformation and perpetuates the concept it is one thing to be ashamed of or stored hidden. Consequently, many ladies are unaware of the provision of efficient remedies or the place to show for assist. As Dr. Jeffcoat places it, “Our society does not wish to discuss any ladies’s points, a lot much less [what happens] ‘down there.'”

Different explanation why urinary incontinence continues to be a taboo subject embrace the next:

  • Societal expectations and norms: Girls might really feel stress to look excellent and in management, and admitting to a problem like urinary incontinence will be seen as an indication of weak point or failure to fulfill these unrealistic expectations. Society’s discomfort with pure bodily features, perceiving them as “gross” (e.g., tampon commercials nonetheless use blue liquid for demonstration!) mixed with the expectation to “bounce again” rapidly after childbirth makes it even tougher to overtly discuss post-birth points, together with urinary incontinence.
  • Concern (particularly worry of growing older): “Something embarrassing can develop into a taboo subject, however incontinence is much more taboo as a result of it is typically related to being previous,” says Dr. Eilber. Society additionally tends to worry growing older, or stress ladies into remaining as youthful as attainable, which might additional result in worry of incontinence points.
  • Restricted schooling and consciousness: This worry may result in a lack of understanding, as we have talked about. Girls are much less inclined to ask their medical doctors about it, and medical doctors are then much less inclined to supply up remedy choices, options, and reassurance that helps de-stigmatize the difficulty. “The message that ought to be amplified is that urinary incontinence is widespread however undoubtedly not regular,” says Dr. Jeffcoat.
  • Systemic obstacles in well being care: In some international locations, like France the place Souiade lives, getting postpartum pelvic ground remedy is normal apply. This helps ladies re-stabilize their pelvic ground after giving delivery, to assist strengthen the muscular tissues that assist their again, assist them have common bowel actions, and sure, maintain management of their bladder. However this remedy will not be at all times advisable or obtainable instantly within the U.S., or ladies are advised to simply “wait and see” if signs enhance. The dearth of proactive care (particularly postpartum care), mixed with systemic problems with how ladies’s well being care is addressed (or ignored), can depart ladies feeling unsupported and uninformed, based on a analysis article in Harvard Public Well being.

“When medical doctors normalize it, ladies aren’t taking the subsequent steps to heal,” Dr. Jeffcoat says.

How we are able to begin speaking about urinary incontinence in ladies

Step one to breaking the taboo is acknowledging that many individuals undergo this difficulty. Having open and trustworthy conversations can even assist normalize urine leaks—irrespective of the part of life you are in—and encourage ladies to deal with and strengthen their pelvic flooring and bladders, for a happier, more healthy life.

Listed here are some issues you are able to do:

1. Educate your self

As with most issues, data is energy—particularly in relation to your well being. Begin taking note of when and why leaks occur. Do they occur after sneezing, coughing, laughing, or lifting one thing heavy? Or possibly you’re feeling a sudden, intense urge to pee that is laborious to disregard?

Understanding the precise kinds of incontinence can information you in the direction of the fitting remedy. “There are two foremost kinds of urinary incontinence,” says Jennifer Anger, MD, urogynecologist, professor of urology, and vice chair of analysis at UC San Diego division of urology.

“Stress urinary incontinence is leakage with cough or sneeze and is widespread after vaginal supply. Urgency urinary incontinence is leakage with an urge to get to the bathroom. That is largely age-related,” says Dr. Anger, noting that about 40 % of ladies have each kinds of incontinence.

2. Be your individual advocate

If the shortcoming to regulate your bladder is affecting your high quality of life, and also you convey it as much as your physician, do not accept a “wait and see what occurs” strategy. Your bladder well being issues, and discovering a well being care supplier who is aware of this may make all of the distinction.

“Be particular about your signs and give attention to the way it impacts your high quality of life: Do you skip social outings? Are you having a tough time maintaining along with your children? Do you keep away from the fitness center or put on pads/diapers day-after-day that irritate your pores and skin?,” says Aldene Zeno, MD, FACOG, a double board-certified OB/GYN and urogynecologist in Los Angeles, California.

Dr. Anger echoes this, and says it is vital to be vocal about your considerations. “As a result of your physician might wish to spend extra time discussing extra critical well being points (particularly postpartum), they could not have sufficient time to speak about urinary incontinence at visits. Remember to maintain bringing it up and emphasize how a lot it is impacting your high quality of life.”

3. Share with folks you possibly can belief

Keep in mind, you aren’t alone on this. Speaking about bladder leakage with mates or household you belief generally is a good supply of assist and luxury. They’ll share suggestions they’ve discovered in the event that they’ve handled it earlier than, or accompany you to physician’s visits—and postpartum examine ups—to be a pillar of assist.

“It is vital to acknowledge that urinary incontinence is embarrassing to many ladies, and it has profound results on their relationships,” says Dr. Zeno. “It impacts intimacy, and plenty of really feel self-conscious even speaking to their important different about it. If in case you have the chance to debate it with a trusted pal, you could be stunned to study you are not alone.”

4. Discover a web-based assist group

Discovering a web-based assist group can present a protected and nameless house to debate your experiences with others who can relate. The Simon Basis for Continence and Nationwide Affiliation for Continence provide on-line boards and assets. Or you will discover Fb teams devoted to urinary incontinence, the place you possibly can join with ladies from world wide and share recommendation, assist, and assets.

The underside line

Whether or not you are an athlete coping with leaks throughout coaching, a postpartum dad or mum with incontinence, or an older grownup adjusting to menopause and altering pelvic ground well being, urinary incontinence doesn’t have to simply be accepted because the “norm.” Speaking along with your physician, attempting issues like pelvic ground remedy or bladder coaching, and opening as much as your family and friends about your struggles (and even emotions of disgrace and embarrassment!) round incontinence will assist de-stigmatize the difficulty—and well being points that have an effect on ladies general.

That method, like Souiade, you possibly can go forward and play along with your children, leap on that trampoline, or snort at that joke and not using a thought besides “that is enjoyable.”


Effectively+Good articles reference scientific, dependable, latest, sturdy research to again up the data we share. You may belief us alongside your wellness journey.


  1. Lee, Una J., et al. “Prevalence of Urinary Incontinence amongst a Nationally Consultant Pattern of Girls, 2005–2016: Findings from the Urologic Ailments in America Mission.” 2021. Journal of Urology, vol. 205, no. 6, WoltersKluwer, June 2021, pp. 1718–1724, doi:10.1097/JU.0000000000001634.

  2. Patel, Ushma J et al. “Up to date Prevalence of Urinary Incontinence in Girls: 2015-2018 Nationwide Inhabitants-Based mostly Survey Knowledge.” Feminine pelvic medication & reconstructive surgical procedure vol. 28,4 (2022): 181-187. doi:10.1097/SPV.0000000000001127

  3. Bø, Kari, and Ingrid Elisabeth Nygaard. “Is Bodily Exercise Good or Unhealthy for the Feminine Pelvic Ground? A Narrative Evaluation.” Sports activities medication (Auckland, N.Z.) vol. 50,3 (2020): 471-484. doi:10.1007/s40279-019-01243-1



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